And i write..

And i write..dunno wat i wanna say..why i wanna..well ders loads going on in my lil brain right now..a lot..colg,family,frnds,activities take up most of my time and keep my mind busy..giving me not too much time to live in the cave..thank God fr DAT tho.its hard to be blank when people who care are around and one thing i wouldnt wanna do is make my mess public ya...so i'd rather just write about it...but still..it seems like ders a void...m around people and talking just fine and laughing and involved wid stuff..but theres something missing!! or..atleast sure seems dat way..wherever i go,i am trying 2 fill that void..its like..m looking fr something een i dunno wt..funny n absurd it sure may sound..but its true..

always been of d belief dat its ok to let urslf feel..feel emotions..weder good or bad or sad or happy or nethn..its ok! as a human bein..we r all allowd emotions...so i tell others..but...do i practise wt i preach??hmm.. .....doubtful..

Ok U know ders like a wall..well not really a wall physically and all..but metaphorically ders a wall..n i hav made dis wall..n nt too many ppl know about the wall..so basically the purpose of building the wall was to guard..guard from getting hurt..so much so that no1 is allowed to get past the wall,coz don't wanna risk getting hurt..i know its dumb n all..but after you've been hurt,lost trust,felt awful,made mistakes n all..something needs to be done..so there is a wall..n i know its not freakin fair..coz not evry1 is around to hurt d world..but its hard fr me 2 let my guard off u know..d wall makes me feel in control..makes me feel no one can harm or hurt me..but..on d flipside..iv shut myself in a way,which prolly makes me seem emotionally stunted n disconnctd n unable to be free..n yea i know it prolly hurts ppl too,coz de feel betrayed n hurt n bad dat i behave disconnected..but theres a wall..the wall..god knows if it'l be broken down..

Irony na..it was built to protect frm hurt..but its seemingly doing just d opposite..